Cosmic Wrestling TV #4
LIVE from Krakow, Poland. 14th March 2019.
Start from the beginning with the Creation PPV
< Previous episode
"We have lost our way in the darkness." A large, bare-chested man with deep scars all over his body stands in the middle of the ring, addressing the crowd. He is flanked by an even larger human with similar scars, and a slight, athletic man with washboard abs. All three men wear face-paint that incorporates skulls and motifs of death and doom. The speaker, The Reaper, speaks in a Russian accent so thick and deep that the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end. He is the living embodiment of evil. "Last week, we were humbled. Three wolves torn apart by the devil's favourite sheep. This cannot stand."
The crowd cheer and jeer in equal measure. Most of all, they are keen to hear what The Reaper will say next. "The Seventh Circle is collapsing. At Evolution, we ask for one final shot. MAX AWESOME, Tommy Gates, grant us one last rematch. If no member of The Seventh Circle leaves Germany with a title, The Seventh Circle will banish itself from the Cosmos." This announcement is greeting with rapturous cheers. The fans in attendance want to see the matches. Without waiting for a response, the faction leave the ring and disappear through the crowd. The fans swamp them and the largest, Skull Seven, has to force a path that the others follow.
"Well, that's certainly a different way to start a show!" Dorian Hindman sits with his usual partner Manny Fantana at a commentary desk in the rafters. Across from them, you can see The Seventh Circle completing their exit. "What do you make of that, Fantana?"
"I think Evolution just got even better. You know why, Heine?"
"Why is that, Fantana?" Dorian's tone is flat, fearing the worst.
"The Seventh Circle will soon hold all the gold!" Fantana boasts loudly.
"Or," Hindman holds up a finger, "they'll be gone from Cosmic Wrestling forever."
"I don't remember them saying forever, Heine."
"They said they would banish themselves from the Cosmos, that sounds pretty final to me."
"Who cares what you think, pencil neck!"
"Charming!" Dorian huffs, Fantana smirks. "Time for our first match of the evening. This is a grudge match. The culmination to a bitter feud. This is Diamond TA versus Suzuki. To the ring!"
"A brilliant manoeuvre from Diamond TA!" Fantana exclaims in a voice somehow even louder than his orange suit.
"Attacking his opponent from behind?" Dorian questions, annoyed.
"Yes." Fantana smirks.
"With a sledgehammer!" Dorian shouts. " A sledgehammer! He should be ashamed of himself, the coward!"
"In this business, you do whatever you have to do to get ahead, Heine. Not that you'd know anything about that."
"So if I were to start ambushing people in car parks and attacking people from behind with construction equipment, I could be a wrestler, is that what you're saying?"
"No." Fantana backpedals. "But if you are already a very underrated and overlooked wrestler, those things can get you noticed."
Dorian takes a moment to compose himself and swallow his anger. It is in this moment that he receives a message in his ear. "I've just heard that this Saturday, at Evolution, we will see Suzuki versus Diamond TA in a no holds barred match. Diamond TA is going to get what's coming to him!"
"You're right, Heine." Fantana shouts back. "Diamond TA will get what he has coming to him; the undisputed number one contendership for the Cosmic Title!"
"Another match taking place at Evolution on Saturday will be for the Cosmic Dragon title, pitting champion Flash against Psicosis Junior and Mohammed Cashman." Dorian is keen to move on. "All three men were given the chance to speak about the match earlier today."
We cut to a shot of Psicosis Junior sitting in a large, wing-backed armchair in a cosy looking office. This creates an absurd image as Psicosis is wearing street clothes with his mask, the purple and yellow headgear completely at odds with everything around him. His English is good, his Mexican accent soft, but his voice is somewhat muffled by the mask.
"I don't necessarily feel like I really earned my shot at Flash for the Dragon title. Cashman got him disqualified, that's the only reason I got a title match. But, I do feel like I'm good enough to be in there. I feel like I could take the title on Saturday and carry it forward, like my father did with light heavyweight titles before me. I look to do my family and my country proud this weekend. I hold no ill-will towards Flash, but I would love to take the Dragon title home and spite that idiota, Mo Cashman."
Almost like saying his name summons him, we cut to Cashman sat in the same chair in the same office where Psicosis cut his promo.
"The Cosmic Dragon Championship is pretty much already mine. Flash is keeping it warm for me, but he isn't the premier athlete of Cosmic Wrestling. That would be me, Mohammed Cashman. I am the best athlete in wrestling and those other two idiots in my match can't hold a candle to me. On Saturday, one of them will stare at the lights, probably Flash, before I make my way home from Germany to celebrate my new title with my boys in Venice Beach."
"He said that?" We cut immediately to the champion, Flash, on the same set. "He doesn't have any fans or even friends in my home town. Yeah, we knew each other growing up. He's always been arrogant. In school, kids fell for his act and he was super popular. As soon as school ended, though, and we all grew in to adults while he stayed the same, everyone saw through his garbage. Years on from then, he's still the same egotistical moron that he always was. He thinks he already has this belt won? We'll see who the champion is come Sunday morning. I wouldn't bank on it being the Cashman."
Back with the commentators, Hindman looks thoughtful. "Fantana, we know of the feud between the boys from Venice Beach, but do you think they're in danger of forgetting to prepare for Psicosis Junior?"
"Did Flash mention him at all?"
"I don't believe he did, no."
"Then that is a real possibility, Heine. If I was Psicosis, I would allow the two Americans to fight each other and then pick the bones."
"I don't think that's really his style."
"If he wants to be champion, he should make that his style."
Dorian nods. "From one perhaps overlooked luchador, to another. Next up, El Ultimo will face off with the number one contender to the KO title, Mad Dog Silva, in a knock out match."
"It has to be said, Mad Dog Silva was on tremendous form tonight." Dorian is solemn but honest.
"He was magnificent, Heine. He dispatched El Ultimo, and then send a message to the champion ahead of his deserved rematch on Saturday. Even though the golden boy attempted to jump him from behind, Heine! Something you normally find so evil but you'll defend now, right?"
"He didn't sneak in to the ring like Mad Dog did last week, at least he faced him head on."
"There you go again, defending your boys!" Fantana waves a dismissive hand.
"Says you!" Dorian laughs with derision. "I thought El Ultimo gave a good account of himself tonight, a performance that will hopefully see him booked on Saturday's super card."
"Yes," Fantana nods, "in defence of the ancient Puerto Rican, he's not built for knock out matches, he needs a wrestling match with a fellow midget. Maybe they can bring back Sky Low Low for him?" Fantana howls at his own joke.
"Even if Ultimo were that small, Sky Low Low died over twenty years ago."
"I dare say he'd still give Ultimo a decent match." Fantana howls louder. Dorian remains stone faced.
"Walt Frederick is backstage with King Wonderful."
"Not only King Wonderful, Dorian," Walt says as he turns to greet his guests in the concrete corridor, "but also Rachel Charming."
"Thank you, little man." Rachel snatches the microphone from Walt, who looks disgusted. King Wonderful scowls in his direction and he quickly reverts to a neutral expression. "Since he has been in Cosmic Wrestling, my love, King Wonderful, has been unfairly mistreated. He has been placed in to matches with top contenders and champions with almost no time to prepare! Now, on Saturday, he will be forced to go one on one with an unnamed opponent! This is not acceptable treatment for the greatest man to ever exist.
"But now, the King has his Queen." They both smile. "And with me, Rachel Charming, by his side, King Wonderful will be unstoppable!"
"I guess that remains to be seen." Dorian speaks as we cut back to he and Fantana. "I don't appreciate how they treated Walt Frederick."
"They treated that old sack of bones with the disdain he deserves."
"Well, if they treat King's opponent on Saturday with disdain, it might not go so well for them."
"We're not worried about that." Manny shakes his head.
"Who's we?"
"The King Wonderful and Queen Rachel Charming Fan Club."
"Just you, then."
"Hey!"
"Next up, ladies and gentlemen, will be our main event of the evening. Last week, you saw Tiger defeat Charli Wheeler in the first ever women's match here in Cosmic Wrestling. Well, on Saturday, Tiger will face one of these two women for the first ever Cosmic Queen championship!"
"My pick for tonight, and for the title match, has to be Roxeanne Quinn, Heine." Fantana is excitable. "She is big, she is tough, she is mean, and she has blatant disregard for the rules. She's just like me!"
"I don't know about that last part," Dorian chimes in, "but Roxeanne certainly is a tough competitor. She'll have her hands full tonight, though, with the model-turned-wrestler, Akira Yamamoto. Born in Japan, raised in Hong Kong, she kicks ass all over the world."
"Models who get involved in wrestling at the top level tend to get their asses kicked, Heine."
"Let's find out, shall we. Down to the ring!"
"Wow. That's all I can say about Akira Yamamoto, Heine. Wow." Fantana looks like he is in love.
"How about 'I was wrong'?" Hindman suggests.
"What was that?"
"Never mind." Dorian smiles. "Ladies and gentlemen, what a show we will have for you this Saturday at Evolution. Tune in then to find out who will be crowned the first ever Cosmic Queen!"
"It's going to be awesome!"
"I agree with you there, Fantana. From myself, Dorian Hindman, and Manny Fantana, thank you for joining us for Cosmic Wrestling TV once again."
Start from the beginning with the Creation PPV
< Previous episode
"We have lost our way in the darkness." A large, bare-chested man with deep scars all over his body stands in the middle of the ring, addressing the crowd. He is flanked by an even larger human with similar scars, and a slight, athletic man with washboard abs. All three men wear face-paint that incorporates skulls and motifs of death and doom. The speaker, The Reaper, speaks in a Russian accent so thick and deep that the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end. He is the living embodiment of evil. "Last week, we were humbled. Three wolves torn apart by the devil's favourite sheep. This cannot stand."
The crowd cheer and jeer in equal measure. Most of all, they are keen to hear what The Reaper will say next. "The Seventh Circle is collapsing. At Evolution, we ask for one final shot. MAX AWESOME, Tommy Gates, grant us one last rematch. If no member of The Seventh Circle leaves Germany with a title, The Seventh Circle will banish itself from the Cosmos." This announcement is greeting with rapturous cheers. The fans in attendance want to see the matches. Without waiting for a response, the faction leave the ring and disappear through the crowd. The fans swamp them and the largest, Skull Seven, has to force a path that the others follow.
"Well, that's certainly a different way to start a show!" Dorian Hindman sits with his usual partner Manny Fantana at a commentary desk in the rafters. Across from them, you can see The Seventh Circle completing their exit. "What do you make of that, Fantana?"
"I think Evolution just got even better. You know why, Heine?"
"Why is that, Fantana?" Dorian's tone is flat, fearing the worst.
"The Seventh Circle will soon hold all the gold!" Fantana boasts loudly.
"Or," Hindman holds up a finger, "they'll be gone from Cosmic Wrestling forever."
"I don't remember them saying forever, Heine."
"They said they would banish themselves from the Cosmos, that sounds pretty final to me."
"Who cares what you think, pencil neck!"
"Charming!" Dorian huffs, Fantana smirks. "Time for our first match of the evening. This is a grudge match. The culmination to a bitter feud. This is Diamond TA versus Suzuki. To the ring!"
"A brilliant manoeuvre from Diamond TA!" Fantana exclaims in a voice somehow even louder than his orange suit.
"Attacking his opponent from behind?" Dorian questions, annoyed.
"Yes." Fantana smirks.
"With a sledgehammer!" Dorian shouts. " A sledgehammer! He should be ashamed of himself, the coward!"
"In this business, you do whatever you have to do to get ahead, Heine. Not that you'd know anything about that."
"So if I were to start ambushing people in car parks and attacking people from behind with construction equipment, I could be a wrestler, is that what you're saying?"
"No." Fantana backpedals. "But if you are already a very underrated and overlooked wrestler, those things can get you noticed."
Dorian takes a moment to compose himself and swallow his anger. It is in this moment that he receives a message in his ear. "I've just heard that this Saturday, at Evolution, we will see Suzuki versus Diamond TA in a no holds barred match. Diamond TA is going to get what's coming to him!"
"You're right, Heine." Fantana shouts back. "Diamond TA will get what he has coming to him; the undisputed number one contendership for the Cosmic Title!"
"Another match taking place at Evolution on Saturday will be for the Cosmic Dragon title, pitting champion Flash against Psicosis Junior and Mohammed Cashman." Dorian is keen to move on. "All three men were given the chance to speak about the match earlier today."
We cut to a shot of Psicosis Junior sitting in a large, wing-backed armchair in a cosy looking office. This creates an absurd image as Psicosis is wearing street clothes with his mask, the purple and yellow headgear completely at odds with everything around him. His English is good, his Mexican accent soft, but his voice is somewhat muffled by the mask.
"I don't necessarily feel like I really earned my shot at Flash for the Dragon title. Cashman got him disqualified, that's the only reason I got a title match. But, I do feel like I'm good enough to be in there. I feel like I could take the title on Saturday and carry it forward, like my father did with light heavyweight titles before me. I look to do my family and my country proud this weekend. I hold no ill-will towards Flash, but I would love to take the Dragon title home and spite that idiota, Mo Cashman."
Almost like saying his name summons him, we cut to Cashman sat in the same chair in the same office where Psicosis cut his promo.
"The Cosmic Dragon Championship is pretty much already mine. Flash is keeping it warm for me, but he isn't the premier athlete of Cosmic Wrestling. That would be me, Mohammed Cashman. I am the best athlete in wrestling and those other two idiots in my match can't hold a candle to me. On Saturday, one of them will stare at the lights, probably Flash, before I make my way home from Germany to celebrate my new title with my boys in Venice Beach."
"He said that?" We cut immediately to the champion, Flash, on the same set. "He doesn't have any fans or even friends in my home town. Yeah, we knew each other growing up. He's always been arrogant. In school, kids fell for his act and he was super popular. As soon as school ended, though, and we all grew in to adults while he stayed the same, everyone saw through his garbage. Years on from then, he's still the same egotistical moron that he always was. He thinks he already has this belt won? We'll see who the champion is come Sunday morning. I wouldn't bank on it being the Cashman."
Back with the commentators, Hindman looks thoughtful. "Fantana, we know of the feud between the boys from Venice Beach, but do you think they're in danger of forgetting to prepare for Psicosis Junior?"
"Did Flash mention him at all?"
"I don't believe he did, no."
"Then that is a real possibility, Heine. If I was Psicosis, I would allow the two Americans to fight each other and then pick the bones."
"I don't think that's really his style."
"If he wants to be champion, he should make that his style."
Dorian nods. "From one perhaps overlooked luchador, to another. Next up, El Ultimo will face off with the number one contender to the KO title, Mad Dog Silva, in a knock out match."
"It has to be said, Mad Dog Silva was on tremendous form tonight." Dorian is solemn but honest.
"He was magnificent, Heine. He dispatched El Ultimo, and then send a message to the champion ahead of his deserved rematch on Saturday. Even though the golden boy attempted to jump him from behind, Heine! Something you normally find so evil but you'll defend now, right?"
"He didn't sneak in to the ring like Mad Dog did last week, at least he faced him head on."
"There you go again, defending your boys!" Fantana waves a dismissive hand.
"Says you!" Dorian laughs with derision. "I thought El Ultimo gave a good account of himself tonight, a performance that will hopefully see him booked on Saturday's super card."
"Yes," Fantana nods, "in defence of the ancient Puerto Rican, he's not built for knock out matches, he needs a wrestling match with a fellow midget. Maybe they can bring back Sky Low Low for him?" Fantana howls at his own joke.
"Even if Ultimo were that small, Sky Low Low died over twenty years ago."
"I dare say he'd still give Ultimo a decent match." Fantana howls louder. Dorian remains stone faced.
"Walt Frederick is backstage with King Wonderful."
"Not only King Wonderful, Dorian," Walt says as he turns to greet his guests in the concrete corridor, "but also Rachel Charming."
"Thank you, little man." Rachel snatches the microphone from Walt, who looks disgusted. King Wonderful scowls in his direction and he quickly reverts to a neutral expression. "Since he has been in Cosmic Wrestling, my love, King Wonderful, has been unfairly mistreated. He has been placed in to matches with top contenders and champions with almost no time to prepare! Now, on Saturday, he will be forced to go one on one with an unnamed opponent! This is not acceptable treatment for the greatest man to ever exist.
"But now, the King has his Queen." They both smile. "And with me, Rachel Charming, by his side, King Wonderful will be unstoppable!"
"I guess that remains to be seen." Dorian speaks as we cut back to he and Fantana. "I don't appreciate how they treated Walt Frederick."
"They treated that old sack of bones with the disdain he deserves."
"Well, if they treat King's opponent on Saturday with disdain, it might not go so well for them."
"We're not worried about that." Manny shakes his head.
"Who's we?"
"The King Wonderful and Queen Rachel Charming Fan Club."
"Just you, then."
"Hey!"
"Next up, ladies and gentlemen, will be our main event of the evening. Last week, you saw Tiger defeat Charli Wheeler in the first ever women's match here in Cosmic Wrestling. Well, on Saturday, Tiger will face one of these two women for the first ever Cosmic Queen championship!"
"My pick for tonight, and for the title match, has to be Roxeanne Quinn, Heine." Fantana is excitable. "She is big, she is tough, she is mean, and she has blatant disregard for the rules. She's just like me!"
"I don't know about that last part," Dorian chimes in, "but Roxeanne certainly is a tough competitor. She'll have her hands full tonight, though, with the model-turned-wrestler, Akira Yamamoto. Born in Japan, raised in Hong Kong, she kicks ass all over the world."
"Models who get involved in wrestling at the top level tend to get their asses kicked, Heine."
"Let's find out, shall we. Down to the ring!"
"Wow. That's all I can say about Akira Yamamoto, Heine. Wow." Fantana looks like he is in love.
"How about 'I was wrong'?" Hindman suggests.
"What was that?"
"Never mind." Dorian smiles. "Ladies and gentlemen, what a show we will have for you this Saturday at Evolution. Tune in then to find out who will be crowned the first ever Cosmic Queen!"
"It's going to be awesome!"
"I agree with you there, Fantana. From myself, Dorian Hindman, and Manny Fantana, thank you for joining us for Cosmic Wrestling TV once again."
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